party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
