She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think your dad took our porno
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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