The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
