It's like God shit irony all over that family
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
