girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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