would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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