You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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