I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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