Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize