Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
