at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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