I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
