This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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