Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Are we still banned from the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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