Plan B is the new Plan A
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
