its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
