You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
