so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
