i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
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Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
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Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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