That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I would fuck him just for his dog
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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