The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
