I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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