Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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