brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
