did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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