this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
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