He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
