There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Drake has all the answers
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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