What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
