i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
