It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
