Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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