On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
