Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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