Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
