so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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