there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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