Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize