I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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