I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
