Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Where is the hickey?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize