just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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