Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
