I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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