also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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