Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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