I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize