y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize