Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
