...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dick very happy bro
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
