Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
