So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
pray to the hookup gods
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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