i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
