At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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