Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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