Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
