there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
