i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
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I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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